Hey "player" (if that is even your name)

How come you'll mention that I have to put water on my cereal because I put out a towel fire with milk, but you won't say a word to plug my number one award-winning podcast? I literally put so much blood, sweat, and tears into making that happen. I work three jobs and sleep under a desk! And how come you won't talk enough about how I'm basically pretty much almost like the lead singer of the best goblin metal band in California?

You are the worst agent I've ever had. I'm going back to State Farm.

No love,
John